In Memory of Alan D. Uretz

We all have important people in our lives with whom we lost contact with over the years.  Alan Uretz was one of those people for me.

It saddens me greatly to learn that this man who spent his life trying to heal others has passed away.

I first met Alan while we both were in our Late twenties / early thirties.  He worked his magic on me utilizing his knowledge of eastern medicine — to help me heal.  

Alan was one of the most brilliant men I ever met.  Like many of us, he struggled with his own childhood demons.  He had a difficult time finding a way to heal from the nightmares he experienced.

Alan wasn’t perfect — yet he did his best to be there for others who were in pain.

I wish I would have known he had cancer, so I could have been there for him like he was for me.

Rest In Peace dear friend.  May your memory be for a blessing.

Are you worshiping your God or your Ego?

Statistics: Sex Crimes Committed by Landlords

Adult Survivors of Child Abuse: Grieving and Loss

Henry the 8th on Domestic Violence

Loosing Family Members Due To Child Abuse

People You Should Know: History of the Anti Rape Movement

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month

History of the Anti Rape Movement  - People You Should Know

Here's a brief history lesson in the movers and shakers within the Anti-Rape Movement.  We all need to be grateful to people like Susan B. Anthonly, Laura X, and the other individuals listed below.

The following used to be posted on The Awareness Center's web page.  I'm slowly moving this information to my blog.  Please be patient for all the links to be working.

_______________________________________________________________________________

People

1. Susan B. Anthony
2. Feige Aufscher
3. Ellen Bass
4. Lucy Berliner
5. E. Sue Blume
6. Michael Brecher
7. Neil Brick
8. Susan Brownmiller
9. Ann Wolbert Burgess
10. Sandra Butler
11. Diana Carson
12. Irene Deschenes
13. Andrea Dworkin
14. Toni Cavanagh Johnson
15. Sophia Chamys
16. Laurieann Chutis
17. Marcia Cohn-Spiegel
18. Letty Cottin Pogrebin
19. Christine A. Courtois
20. Laura Davis
21. Peter Dimock 
22. Tom Economus
23. Barbara Engel
24. Beverly Engel
25. Dale English
26. Anne Marie Erikkson
27. Erik H. Erikson, PhD
28. Erik Erikkson
29. Hank Estrada
30. David Finkelhor
31. Frank L. Fitzpatrick
32. Yvonne Fedderson
33. Ken Followell
34. Howard Fradkin
35. Renée Fredrickson, PhD
36. Rebecca Freedman
37. William N. Friedrich
38. Sandi Gallant
39. James Garbarino
40. Eliana Gil
41. Chezi Goldberg (Scott Goldberg)
42. Jean Goodwin
43. Judith Herman
44. Jan Hindman
45. Beverly Holman
46. Lynda Lytle Holmstrom
47. Jim Hopper
48. Mic Hunter
49. Marc Klaas
50. Alicia Kozakiewicz
51. Laura X
52. Murray Levin
53. Mike Lew
54. Rachel Liberman
55. Sharon L. Lowenstein
56. Wendy Maltz
57. Leah Marinelli
58. Nancy Mayer
59. Helen McGonigle
60. Ava Miedzinski
61. Alice Miller
62. Ellen Mugmon
63. Toby Myers
64. Sara O'Meara
65. Debra Nussbaum Cohen
66. Peter Parker (AKA: Spider-Man)
67. Vicki Polin
68. Eugene Porter
69. Polly Poskin
70. Sally Jesse Raphael
71. Florence Rush
72. Diana Russell
73. Margaret Sanger
74. Judge Charles B. Schudson
75. Bob Schwiderski 
76. Kathy Shaw
77. Ken Singer
78. Rick Springer
79. Rachel Steamer
80. Gloria Steinham
81. Lucy Stone
82. Jim Struve
83. Roland C. Summit
84. Marlo Thomas
85. Debby Tucker 
86. Tim Walsh
87. Lynn Wasnak
88. Charles Whitfield
89. Susan Weidman Schneider
90. Jan Wohlberg

Historic Organizations You Should Know

1. National Clearinghouse on Marital and Date Rape
2. S4OS - Speaking for Our Selves
3. VOICES In Action (Victims Of Incest Can Emerge Survivors)

History of Child Abuse Laws: US To Press Ban On Beating Children

1963 was the year that they really started to ban beating children. That was only 53 years ago.

Still In Love After Seventy-Three Years

I was in line at a grocery store the other night when I started chatting with a 92-year-old man. 

While we were waiting we started chatting. He told me that he and his wife just got home from Florida. She sent him to the store to get potatoes, yet he was coming home with much more. He also picked up 3 dozen absolutely beautiful roses. 

I asked if it was their anniversary? He said no. He said his home was empty of flowers and that the love of his life deserved only the best. He told me they've been married since 1943, and that he has always made sure his woman always had roses.

Addictions: Applying For State And/Or Federal Aid

The following statement has been going around on social media sites for a few years, suggesting that there be a requirement for those who apply for State or Federal aid be drug tested –– and if they come up positive, they would be denied benefits. 

As a mental health professional who has worked in a methadone clinic and also have worked with individuals with addiction issues in my private practice, I felt the need to share some facts with you.

Those who have addictions issues also often have serious mental health issues (usually they have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and or are bipolar) and need help. Statistically about 98% of them were abused as children, primarily sexually abused. Without help these individuals would be homeless, eating out of garbage cans, and will most likely die at an early age.


I personally believe this practice should be illegal. People with addition issues ARE considered mentally ill.  By denying benefit's, our government would be practicing a form of discrimination against those with a disability.
 
There is also the fact that a vast number of those using illicit drugs who are veterans who have returned after serving our country. 

To deny these folks who have serious PTSD and or are bipolar any sort of benefits is a way to turn your back on so many of the folks you grew up with (and or family members). 

Instead of denying them benefits how about having someone help them with their finances and start funding mental health so they can get help. 

I was also informed that Florida reversed this practice.  When they implemented this plan nearly everyone was clean so the expense of the testing did not outweigh the savings it was discontinued.

–– Vicki Polin, MA, LCPC

Marc Gafni, Saul Berman, The Petition And The New York Times

Saul Berman and Marc Gafni

I have to admit I am so happy that Marc Gafni's past criminal behavior is being made public again in hopes of preventing anyone else from being harmed by him. I am also grateful that so many people who once supported this confessed sex offender realized their mistakes.

Ever since I heard about the New York Times article being writing I have been trying to put my feelings regarding the vicious, rageful, hate campaign they created against not only The Awareness Center, yet my personhood aside, yet I have been having a difficult time doing that.

I keep being told for some time that many of the folks who created and engaged in the rage campaign against those of us who were trying to help the survivors and signed the petition have done teshuva (repentance).

What I don't understand is that if they have "done teshuva," why hasn't any of them contacted me or anyone else connected to The Awareness Center to apologies for the damages they caused to so many. The hate campaign was started by rabbi Saul Berman, who recently signed the petition against Marc Gafni.

The hate against me started over 10 years ago -- and continues to this day.

I wrote the following article back in 2013:
     "Cyber-Bullying: The Rabbi Saul Berman way"

Marc Gafni seems to thrive on any attention you give him

Remember, Gafni gets thrives on any type of attention you give him -- including negative attention. 

The important thing to focus is on is that every time there's a round of articles coming out against him, it gives the opportunity to protect at least one more person from becoming his next victim. 

Unfortunately, he has never been arrested nor charged with a crime. Why? Because in the past it wasn't deemed OK to file a police report against another Jew, folks were too afraid of his backlash or three he moved out of the country going from the US to Israel and then back to the US again.

"Marc Gafni Defends Return to Spotlight as Backlash Gathers Steam"

Gafni and the "Good Ol' Boys Club"

 
It was and still is a "Good ol' Boys Club". This was and still is status quo in not just the orthodox world, yet within all movements of Judaism and of every other faith university, corporation, etc. 

I do want to add that the status quo really depends on who the offender or victim is . . . I mean in the way cases are handled. 

The truth is that it wasn't until 1984 that there was a legal definition for child sexual abuse. The anti-rape field was still pretty much in it's infancy. 

Most folks had no idea what the long term ramifications of child molestation were. I'm not making excuses for this inexcusable behavior, yet it's important to put it into perspective. 

If I remember correctly the first rape crisis center in the country opened in 1975 in NYC. They weren't funded by the Feds until 1984. 

Back then they often called child sexual abuse -- sexual child abuse, placing the blame on the child -- who was sexual.

Marc Gafni On Sexual McCarthyism

Here's an interview done by Luke Ford back in 2008 where confessed sex offender Marc Gafni making excuses for his criminal behaviors. Gafni's rational sounds so similar to rationals used by Bill Cosby.

#13 Rape According to Gafni: Sexual McCarthyism v. Sexual Mistakes. Perhaps Marc Gafni can tell us where he gets the funds to hire the best attorneys?

Marc Gafni - Confessed sexual predator talks about being wrong.

With the new round of media attention on Marc Gafni, I was reminded of these two old interview Luke Ford did with Marc Gafni, who confessed to sexually assaulting a 13-year-old girl several years ago during an interview which was published in the New York Jewish week.  To this day he has never been charged with the crime, let alone any of the other alleged assaults he committed.