Women's History: Civil Rights For women

PICTURED ABOVE: International gathering of woman suffrage advocates in Washington, D.C., 1888. Seated (left to right) are Alice Scotchard (England), Susan B. Anthony (United States), Isabella Bogelot (France), Elizabeth Cady Stanton (United States), Matilda Joslyn Gage (United States), and Baroness Alexandra Gripenberg (Finland). The names of the individuals standing could not be determined.

Being an educated consumer: Jewish Survivors of Sexual Abuse/Assault

© (2012) By Vicki Polin
Originally published in The Examiner on September 13 2012

The history of the Anti-Rape Movement within Jewish communities worldwide really got started over fifty years ago when Marcia Cohn Spiegel realized her husband had been an alcoholic for many years. Marty did what many women did back in the 1950s ad 60s, and went to her rabbi and then a Jewish psychotherapist for help. Like in many problematic marital situations back then (and sadly what still goes on today) -- women were told that the it must be something they was doing wrong that would cause her spouse to drink. Marty was devastated and could never figure out what it was that she was doing wrong. It would take another ten years from the time she originally spoke with her rabbi that Ms. Cohn-Spiegel joined a feminist consciousness raising group. It was at that point she realized that she was NOT alone nor to blame for her husband’s behavior.

During the 1970s other Jewish women who were living with alcoholic husbands and or with domestic violence situations (which included cases incest and marital rape) began to communicate with each other. It was at that time that Marty realized that she had to take on a more active role and something to change the Jewish worlds view, attitudes and behaviors regarding these issues.

Marcia Cohn Spiegel had already received her undergraduate degree in psychology back in 1949, and had been an active volunteer in various non-profit groups, when she went back to get her graduate degree in 1976. She basically went back to school so that she could learn how better to help Jewish survivors.

Having the right education, training and supervised experience is critical to being able to really learn the best ways to help and advocate for others. Unfortunately, over the past few years the anti-rape movement within the Jewish community has been hijacked by a small group of people who feel they know what they are doing, even though very few of them have any specialized training in advocating for others, let alone in how to help guide survivors in the healing process.

Due to of the lack of training of these “lay advocates”, many survivors of sex crimes who have been reaching out for help are getting hurt. The scary part is that these “lay advocates” due not understand the importance of confidentiality, listening to the needs and wants of each individual survivor and often just follow their own personal agendas. 

Due to lack of training and these “lay advocates” are not certified or connected to a legitimate rape crisis center -- meaning there is no legal protections for those utilizing their services. If a “lay advocate” should breach confidentiality, there is no legal recourse that could be taken. It is as if you shared a confidential secret with friend and the confidential information was shared with others. There would be nothing legally that could be done, unless prior to sharing the information a confidentiality agreement was signed by both parties.
In the state of Illinois, along with several other states -- a certified rape victim advocate is protected from them being subpoenaed in court of law regarding what is shared between a survivor and the activist. Survivors can confide in rape crisis center counselors and advocates, knowing that they run little risk of having those communications disclosed publicly unless they consent to such disclosure.

It’s important for survivors of sex crimes to be educated consumers when they are asking for help. It’s great to have friends and family members who are supportive. For many, it’s a vital part of their own personal healing process. If you’re looking for help after being sexually victimized, one of the best places to start off is with your local rape crisis center. Not only can they offer you legal advocacy by legitimate activists, they also help direct you to both medical and psychological counseling by professionals who have the right training, education and experience. 

Over the years survivors from the Torah observant world have been afraid to go to agencies outside of their communities for fear the organizations would not understand their unique cultural differences and needs. Though each person’s wants and needs are different, it’s important to know that those who work in legitimate rape crisis centers have to have course work in cultural diversity training. Meaning, the majority of counselors, medical and legal professionals will do what they can to understand your unique situation. They are also bound by the confidentiality laws, which should reassure you that what you share with them will remain private. 

If you live in Illinois contact one of the rape crisis counseling centers associated with ICASA (Illinois Coalition Against Sexual Assault).

If you live in another state click here to find a legitimate rape crisis center in your community.

Let 5773 be the year for Healing of Survivors!

When The Awareness Center (International Jewish Coalition Against Sexual Abuse/Assault) was first created over 10 years ago, I was inundated by phone calls and e-mails from women from all over the world. I had no idea who this man was at first and would later realized that over the years that I have spoken to hundreds of women who disclosed that they were sexually abused by Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach; along with individuals who identified themselves as being spouses, relatives and or friends of the survivors.

One common theme with this calls was the enormous about of internal pain they felt each year when their synagogues created special Carlebach Minyon’s (gathering) in his honor, which was often right before Shlomo Carlebach's Yahrzeit (anniversary of his death).

View slideshow: It's time to honor the female survivors of Shlomo Carlebach

Due to the degree of emotional pain created by their victimization, several of the women who contacted me also disclosed that they had walked away from the Torah observant lifestyle, going to synagogue or even practicing Judaism in any shape or form. There have also been numerous callers who also shared that they had converted to other faiths -- as a result of being sexually victimized by this serial sexual predator -- and due to the way the allegations they made had been handled by rabbonim.

Being from an unaffiliated background, when the calls first started coming in I had no idea what to think. I had never heard of Shlomo Carlebach. I found myself needing to research out who this man was. I ended up asking various rabbis for the missing background information needed. It was explained to me by some of the most highly respected rabbis that “Shlomo Carlebach was an artist . . . a musician. . . someone who was responsible for bring hundreds if not thousands back to Judaism.” . . . “Due to the number of neshema's (Jewish souls) he saved it was enough reason for him to deserved to be respected.”

These same rabbis all acknowledge that “Shlomo Carlebach had a little problem with loving women a little too much.” When I further questioned these same rabbis about their statements, I was told things such as: "boys will be boys -- you know how musicians are, etc." In today’s society Shlomo’s “loving women a little too much”, would be considered sexual assault -- could have been prosecuted, and placed on the National Sex Offender’s Registry.

One secret many rabbonim have kept from the public for several decades is the fact that back in 1959 Rabbi Moshe Feinstein made a rabbinic decree banning Carlebach’s music as a way to deter him from assaulting more women. With no place else to go, Shlomo fled from the orthodox world and started doing kiruv (Jewish outreach) to unsuspecting women in the secular world.

If you think about it, back in the 1950s, 60s and really up until 1984, there were very few laws on the books to protect women from this type of criminal sexual behavior. Like back in the 1950s when the first known cases of clergy sexual abuse were made against Shlomo Carlebach, the blame for the assaults were place on the women who were sexually victimized -- instead of where the blame belonged -- on the alleged assailants, such as in the case of rabbi Shlomo Carlebach.

Nearly ten years ago Rabbi Yosef Blau, who is the Mashgiach ruchani (head spiritual advisor) at Rabbi Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary, stated to me that the reason for the volume of calls I was receiving was: “you have to understand some of the facts. Shlomo traveled a great deal, he was a Kiruv worker (Jewish outreach worker). Let's say Shlomo was ‘with’ one woman a week -- times that by forty years. So basically that would mean he would have been with 2,160 women."

"The problem is that Shlomo most likely had a sex addiction. Knowing Shlomo the odds are he was with at least one or two woman a day; that would mean he was with (sexually assaulted) over 14,600 women."

I have no idea of the accuracy of Rabbi Blau’s statement, yet I do know that over the last eleven years I have received more calls from survivors of Shlomo Carlebach, then any other alleged or convicted sex offender. I personally believe he had molested more women then any other sexual predator in the history of the Jewish people.

Just as with survivors of any other sex offender, each and every one of the women who had been sexually violated by Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach deserve to have their voices heard.

With the coming of the Jewish New Year, I’m asking everyone to say a prayer for the women who had been sexually assaulted by Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach, and to put the end to promoting this serial sexual predator as a saint.

-- 
This article was originally published by The Examiner  on September 11, 2012
 

What's Your Synagogues High Holiday Polices For Sex Offenders?

© (2012) Vicki Polin

Child Abuse and the High Holidays