Saturday, September 7, 2013

Cyberbullying Over 50: The Facebook Drama

(Originally published in The Chicago Examiner)


Facebook has been an amazing tool in which so many of us have been able to reconnect with long lost childhood friends. It has also been wonderful to be a part of small speciality groups created for those of us who grew up in the same community or town, elementary and or high schools.
I personally have been having a great time to being able to catch up with so many people who I haven’t seen in over thirty to forty years. It’s been fun learning where they’ve been, who they’ve seen and about the families and lives they have created for themselves.
For many of us in my age bracket, these specialty groups recreate a hint of what it was like growing up in the 1960s - 70s. Offering a sense of community -- even though many of our childhood friends have moved all over the United States and to as far away places as Australia, China, Italy, Great Britain and Israel. Because of Facebook, it’s as if we are all together again in our old neighborhood. Just chumming along as if we were still in high school.
The truth is with the reuniting of old friends there can also be the same sort of childlike behaviors and drama that went on when we were growing up. At times it feels as if those of us who use Facebook have created a soap opera.
The good part of any soap opera is that so many of us have reunited at various mini-reunions and gatherings –– and because of these parties, some old friends who were single started dating, and there have also been a few weddings.
Even though we grew up in the 1960s - 70s and that most of us are all in fifty-something bracket –– there have also been small group of friends who have been the target of cyberbullying by other classmates.Facebook has been an amazing tool in which so many of us have been able to reconnect with long lost childhood friends. It has also been wonderful to be a part of small speciality groups created for those of us who grew up in the same community or town, elementary and or high schools.
I personally have been having a great time to being able to catch up with so many people who I haven’t seen in over thirty to forty years. It’s been fun learning where they’ve been, who they’ve seen and about the families and lives they have created for themselves.
For many of us in my age bracket, these specialty groups recreate a hint of what it was like growing up in the 1960s - 70s. Offering a sense of community -- even though many of our childhood friends have moved all over the United States and to as far away places as Australia, China, Italy, Great Britain and Israel. Because of Facebook, it’s as if we are all together again in our old neighborhood. Just chumming along as if we were still in high school.
The truth is with the reuniting of old friends there can also be the same sort of childlike behaviors and drama that went on when we were growing up. At times it feels as if those of us who use Facebook have created a soap opera.
The good part of any soap opera is that so many of us have reunited at various mini-reunions and gatherings –– and because of these parties, some old friends who were single started dating, and there have also been a few weddings.
Even though we grew up in the 1960s - 70s and that most of us are all in fifty-something bracket –– there have also been small group of friends who have been the target of cyberbullying by other classmates.
Cyberbullying is a topic most of us want to believe only happen to children, yet the facts are that just as many adults are under attack. Unfortunately, many of those who cyberbully do so as a form of entertainment. As sickening as it may sound they do it for laughs or to get a reaction from others.
Often those who cyberbully will target those who are experiencing some sort of crisis in their lives. It is not unusual for cyberbullies to target individuals going through a divorce, the death of a loved one or someone experiencing a serious health condition.
Most cyberbullies gain some sort of gratification from harming someone else. Those who commit this type of crime are seeking attention, it doesn’t matter what type of attention, as long as they can provoke someone in a negative manor.
Cyberbullying occurs when a person or a group of people chooses to target another individual. They often will harass, humiliate, embarrass, threaten or do what ever they can to torment another individual.
Cyberbullies are often arrogant, emotionally immature, shallow and superficial, highly manipulative, vindictive, have superior sense of entitlement, and are often cowards.
What’s also important to be aware of is that a cyberbully will have no qualms about bullying anyone else who attempts to call them out on their behavior, by doing so the cyberbully will feel they are gaining power, control over others by creating chaos in other peoples lives.
If you or someone you know is being cyberbullied it is vitally important that you print out copies of the sites in which the hate against you or someone you know is being spread. By doing this you are creating a paper trail in which you can show others, and also provide proof this is occurring to you if you choose to take legal action. It is also important that you and everyone you know unfriend and block the person(s) causing chaos. It’s the only sure way to prevent the hate from spreading. It’s also important to be aware that in the State of Illinois along with almost every other state, bullying of any type including cyberbullying is considered a crime, and one in which could send a person to jail.

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